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(202): That rando I gave head to...
(202): That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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(860): he's a firefighter....
(860): he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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(801): Mid stroke she told me...
(801): Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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Couple Drags Month-Old Baby Down the Aisle (Literally) Because Jesus
The bride explains:“Our 1 month old was awake and well secured on my train. Most important while yall got ya feelings in us we had our hearts in Christ which covers all!! So keep ya mouths running for...
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(585): You rinsed the beer pong...
(585): You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian.
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(847): Whatever. I just want to...
(847): Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
View ArticleELI5: How do poops and farts work together in the digestive system? Are they...
submitted by puttputtpoop to explainlikeimfive[link][1341 comments]
View ArticleChildren of porn stars. How has this affected you growing up?
submitted by ToFat2Fish to AskReddit[link][2970 comments]
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Some Guy Painted Kim Kardashian's Butt With His Dick
Kim Kardashian's bare, oily ass continues to make huge waves in the art world. First, some guy printed it out and taped it to a coffee maker , and now some other guy has recreated it as a painting,...
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Good Son Obeys Mom's No Porn in the House Rule, Jerks Off in Yard
Anthony Smith, 21, was arrested by Martin County, Fla. police last month after sheriff's deputies found him outside his home, naked and masturbating. He was just listening to his mother, apparently:...
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U.K. Sex Workers Sitting on Each Other's Faces for Their Right to Fist
A mass facesitting demonstration is taking place outside Parliament in London to protest new U.K. pornography regulations that will hold online porn to the same standards as DVDs: That means no...
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8' long, 26lb, 36K calorie gummy snake
Vat 19's gummy python costs $150, but provides all the calories needed to keep you going for weeks, and has "incredible details" including "blended coloring, ridged coils, and thousands of...
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(520): This Christmas I would like...
(520): This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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Cards Against Humanity Got 30,000 People to Buy Actual Shit for $6 a Box on...
submitted by OhJohnNo to nottheonion[link][566 comments]
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No charges for Japanese man who dumped a quarter-ton of porn in a park
70 year old Hideaki Adachi said he was disposing of the porn for a sick friend, and he assumed that the park's population of homeless people (with whom he volunteers) would arrange for its disposal....
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Woman Catches Husband Banging Her Twin, Gives Them What They Deserve
A Chinese woman suspicious that her husband was stepping out on her got the shock of her life when she followed his car and discovered that his other woman was her twin all along. And the two were...
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Funny story: I also magically poop charms.
Lalaloopsy:"I was very disappointed that the charms were not pooped magically, but clearly pooped using the rational laws of science. Still, a poop-charm is a poop-charm, as Woodrow Wilson used to say....
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Radio Station Apologizes for Letting a DJ Get a Rimjob on the Air
Chilean radio station Top 40 held a contest earlier this week, offering tickets to the giant EDM festival Mysteryland, and one lucky winner got hers by giving a DJ a rimjob live on air (here I'm...
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(617): And my cousin was so drunk...
(617): And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital.
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I'll be back in 5 minutes. If not...
submitted by Frank_The_Hyena to funny[link][160 comments]
View ArticleELI5: How has 50 Shades of Gray, a piece of pornography, become accepted and...
Side question, how the hell will the movie not be just straight up porn? submitted by HutchinsonianDemon to explainlikeimfive[link][688 comments]
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Naughty Elf Arrested for DUI
A rogue elf who passed out drunk in a Target parking lot is on the naughty list this year!!!!!!!!Read more...
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30,000 Arrested in China's Great Porn Purge
If you love porn and/or gambling and you live in China, you are basically shit out of luck. And possibly already in jail, from the looks of how things went down this weekend. Read more...
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Masked Man Wearing Assless Pants Arrested for Alleged Horse Fucking
A Wisconsin man was arrested in Wausau last week for alleged horse fucking after sheriff's deputies found him in a barn with a jar of vaseline. Jared Kreft, 30, was reportedly wearing "a face mask,...
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The wife and I both picked up a bottle of wine on our respective ways home...
submitted by goldsawks03 to funny[link][1237 comments]
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This is what happens when you commit a crime, then get arrested while shaving...
submitted by iBleeedorange to pics[link][482 comments]
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(503): I just watched my ex butt...
(503): I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It is time for a Deadspin holiday tradition like no other: our annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits to discover the strangest, unlikeliest,...
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Another Baby Treated For Herpes After A Snip-N-Suck Circumcision
Yet another infant has contracted herpes after a "metzitzah b’peh, a controversial circumcision ritual in the Orthodox Jewish community in which a mohel sucks blood from a baby's snipped foreskin....
View ArticlePeople who have shit themselves in your adult life, what is your story?
submitted by popintags to AskReddit[link][2787 comments]
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2 Charged With Stealing $2,000 Worth Of Christmas Decorations In Colorado...
submitted by braddamit to nottheonion[link][597 comments]
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Play-Doh Frantically Deleting Toy Dick Pics From Its Facebook Page
Whoops. The icing maker that comes with Play-Doh's Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain Playset (retail price: $20) looks 100 percent like a veiny dick. Read more...
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I'm sure my fuel cap was on this side
submitted by Greenfingers2014 to videos[link][2454 comments]
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The Long and Short of It: 2014's Best, Biggest, and Brightest Dicks
The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the...
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Play-Doh Is Doing Damage Control for Accidentally Manufacturing a Dil-Doh
submitted by JasonExtra to nottheonion[link][738 comments]
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(774): Worst. Date. Ever. He...
(774): Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
View ArticleConfused Woman Has a Really Rough Day at the Gas Station
It always sucks to pull your car into a gas station with the cap side accidentally facing away from the pump, but everyone's done it, and it's not hard to sympathize. Three times, though? How does that...
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Dudebros Pull Off One of the Greatest Jenga Trick Moves of All Time
Despite shooting in the oft-maligned vertical mode to capture the moment, these three charming (probably drunk) lads pulled off a totally impossible Jenga trick using a knife. Yeah, it's blowing my...
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Man Sets House on Fire While Trying to Boil His Dildos Clean
Here's a cautionary tale for your Tuesday: Be very careful when cleaning your marital aids, you may just set your entire house (and the internet) on fire and then everyone will remember you as "the...
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